I know there are a lot of resources out there for stress and depression and even overwhelm, but I didn’t want to leave a post up complaining about an issue I’m having without also sharing what I do personally to cope. Luckily today I’m having a solid 8.5 out of 10 day, so I can share some of my tool kit. In no particular order, here are some of the things that help me stay sane:
1. Maintain good sleep hygiene: The amount of sleep one needs varies from person to person, but I don’t feel like I can face the world unless I get 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Unfortunately, I often have interrupted sleep and unintentionally biphasic sleep. I also have plenty of nights where I simply don’t get enough. A few tricks that help me are to read an actual, physical book while falling asleep – something fascinating but not enthralling, turn lamps down low, stop cellphone and television use at least an hour before bed, and cover my alarm clock numbers with a sleep mask to create darkness in my room. These don’t give me perfect sleep regularity, but they help.
2. Keep my digital calendar and physical planner up to date: I prefer to use both my Google calendar and a Panda Planner. On my digital calendar I color code for medical appointments, birthdays, work appointments, church commitments, and kids’ activities. If it’s not in my calendar, it doesn’t exist. Writing it down and backing it up for access on the go helps me to reduce the anxiety that I might miss something or drop the ball.
3. Practice gratitude: This might be taking a moment to pray and thank the Lord for something simple: a hot cup of coffee, a glimpse of a Gold Finch or the little Downy Woodpecker that haunts the dead trees off the front porch, the time to take an uninterrupted hot shower. It can also take the form of writing a little note of gratitude in my Panda Planner, or it can be something a bit more long-form if I find time to write my Morning Pages. Taking time, no matter what is not going right in life, to remember what IS going well, helps to keep me mentally balanced and focused.
4. Acknowledge and nurture my artistic self: I believe that each of us is unique and has certain parts of the self that make us tick. When we deny these parts, we wilt inside and cease to be as intended. We devolve into a lesser version of ourselves. The awareness, whether conscious or subconscious, of this lack or loss left me feeling anxious, dissatisfied, hungry, for years. When I do not make or create or acknowledge the need to do so, I feel as if there is a watcher just beyond my peripheral spying on me. There’s a niggling sense of need, a constipation of spirit. When I don’t take time to allow my artist self to play or to escape into my work, even if just for a short time, on a regular basis, I feel deep seated anxiety and cannot cope with the other tasks on my to do list. My husband has supported me in devoting more time to creating, and that makes a world of difference. It isn’t an indulgence but rather a very real necessity.
This leads me to my last tool to share for today.
5. Triage: I have to sort the priorities in my life and the lives of my children. This means that I need to not operate in a reactive mode but rather a mode of careful consideration. Routines where appropriate can help reduce decision fatigue, and for the rest I make case by case decisions. It is en vogue for modern families to buy in meals and prioritize sports, dance, and other youth activities, and I have no criticism if that works for other families. It doesn’t work for me, so I choose to live our life at a somewhat slower pace, prioritizing relationships and time on the homestead. I am learning to say, “No,” when the activity offered doesn’t fit in with what we’ve identified as our priorities. It’s a process.
What daily rituals or “tools” do you keep in your kit for dealing with overwhelm?
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